To Be Brutally Frank With You
by Frozen Obsidian
Summary: It was a fine, sunny day, but then the Rikkai Regulars drank a truth serum, and now they can't stop themselves from blurting out their innermost thoughts. Joy. Damn Yanagi. CRACK. Credit to -doy.doy- for the idea for this story. Rating now T for language.
1. Chapter 1

**To Be Brutally Frank With You...**

It was a fine, sunny day. The birds were waking people up before they needed to be woken up; the sun was blinding random people and Yanagi received an e-mail from Inui.

It was entitled: RECIPE FOR TRUTH SERUM V2.1. Yanagi was very curious, so he opened the e-mail. In it, the ingredients and instructions for a juice that would, according to Inui, allow Yanagi ample opportunities to update his data.

Yanagi scanned the ingredients, and thought to himself, 'Knowing my teammates, I probably have to double all of this…"

And so he did.

-0-0-0-

Sanada was confused.

This wasn't anything new, because Sanada was constantly confused. It was almost his semi-permanent state of mind when he was around his crazy teammates.

But this time, he was confused by _Yanagi_, who was pretty much the only sane person on his team, aside from himself. Sure, Yanagi was eccentric, but he was pretty sane. Considering.

Yanagi was proffering a greenish-grey liquid at him, with an odd glint in his eyes. What freaked Sanada out even more was that his best friend had actually _opened his eyes_.

Sanada stepped back slightly, and asked, "Why do I have to drink that?"

"For data-gathering purposes."

"Why just me?"

Yanagi smirked, just a bit, and replied, "I'll get to them later. Now _drink_."

Out of the corner of his eye, Sanada spotted Yukimura approaching them, and thought, 'Thank God, Yukimura's here. He'll put a stop to Yanagi's madness.'

Sadly, he was wrong.

Yukimura glanced at the drink, and then at Yanagi, before finally staring at Sanada's reluctant face.

He asked, "What's going on here?"

Sanada was quick to reply, "Renji's trying to make me drink that."

"Hmm… For any particular reason?"

Yanagi cut in before Sanada could reply, "I need the whole team to drink it to update my data."

Yukimura looked like he was thinking about something very hard, and Sanada thought he was trying to decide how to tell Yanagi 'No'. It was the sane thing to do, after all. Who drank an unidentifiable liquid willingly?

Unfortunately, this was Rikkai, where common sense and sanity were thrown out the window, burnt, and completely obliterated.

So, of course, Yukimura told Yanagi, "That's a wonderful idea! Come, let's round up the others." His smile was slightly scary for some reason.

Sanada was depressed. But it was Yukimura's orders, and he wouldn't go against Yukimura.

-0-0-0-

"So, you want us to drink this."

Yukimura and Yanagi were bemused, why was it so hard to make 6 teenagers drink something?

"I thought I explained that already," said Yukimura, with a glint in his eye. The glint said 'Obey-me-now-lest-you-want-to-die-a-painful-death'.

His team was cowed. But Niou tried to resist anyway, and said, "No way. Make the bratling drink it or something."

Akaya yelped, "Hey!" But he was ignored.

"I think you missed the point," said Yukimura, "The entire point of this is to make _all of you_ drink this."

Niou was resistant, "So why aren't the two of you drinking this?"

Akaya piped up, "Yeah! It's not fair! Why do we have to drink this kinda poisonous looking juice while you guys just stand around and watch?"

Yukimura's smile was icy, "I'm your captain, I'm _supposed_ to oversee the practices. And Yanagi was the instigator, and he needs to be in top form to collect his data."

Niou was still resistant.

Sanada, though extremely reluctant to drink the liquid, wasn't going to let his teammates talk back to Yukimura that way, and therefore yelled, "Tarundoru!"

Yukimura smiled, "Thank you, Sanada. Now, the lot of you, _drink_ already."

His team drank, for fear of Yukimura's wrath, because the last time Yukimura got that look on his face, he had—well, it was too horrible to even think about, Let's just say that Marui still had nightmares of the incident.

Niou, however, was still strong in his conviction, and refused to even take a sip of the liquid.

Yukimura's face darkened, and he muttered, just loud enough for only Niou to hear, "Drink, Haru, or I will be forced to bring all my six fish to practice tomorrow."

Niou twitched, he hated fish. He'd even go so far as to say he had a phobia of them, not that anyone knew. Which was why he liked cats so much, they ate fish. Damn, how did Yukimura find out?

With a sigh, he drank, but not before silently promising to try and pull a Trick on Yukimura in the near future.

And with that, all the victi- I mean, all the Rikkai Regulars had drunk Yanagi's concoction.

There was silence for a few moments, then Marui clutched his stomach, "That was disgusting… and I feel sort of weird."

"Yeah, me too," said Jackal with a grimace.

Yagyuu, being the polite gentleman that he was, simply turned a mild shade of green.

Akaya expressed his feelings on the matter by running to the toilet to barf his lunch out.

He was soon joined by Sanada.

Niou shrugged, confused by his teammates reactions, he thought the juice tasted pretty okay, actually.

Yagyuu asked, "And may I ask what was the point of the liquid?"

"Oh… You'll find out soon, it should take effect within the next five minutes." Said Yanagi with a small smile.

Abruptly, Marui interrupted them, by saying, "Have you ever noticed that Yanagi really needs a haircut."

"Yes, it sucks." To everyone's surprise, it was Yagyuu that answered him.

Jackal raised an eyebrow, "Aren't you supposed to be polite or something? You're not being Niou now, after all."

"That's just to trick all of you. Idiots." Yagyuu's eyes widened, that was supposed to be internal.

Yukimura stifled a laugh. He knew all about Yagyuu's snarky side.

While all of them were trying to absorb this new shocking information, Niou, who already knew about Yagyuu's _other_ side, interjected, "That was a truth serum, wasn't it, Yanagi?"

Yanagi just nodded, still miffed about the haircut comment. He asked Sanada quietly, "Does my haircut really suck?"

Sanada tried to keep silent, but the truth serum was too potent, and he answered, "Yes."

Yanagi was depressed. Sanada couldn't lie, and even _he_ thought his haircut sucked. _Sanada_. _Who had no fashion sense_. Oh, the embarrassment.

Akaya wailed, "Yanagi… Why'd you do that to us? I don't want to tell the truth all day!"

"You shouldn't lie anyway, Akaya," said Yukimura, with a look of disappointment on his face.

Yanagi mused to himself, 'Maybe I made the serum too strong… They can't seem to keep their mouths shut.'

Jackal cut in, "Yukimura looks really girly today." As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he regretted it. Damn Yanagi's truth serum.

Marui muttered, "Should I get his funeral ready?"

"Yes." Said Yukimura, a sweet looking smile on his face, but they knew better, that smile meant _pain_.

Poor Jackal.

-0-0-0-

So how'd you like it? If I get positive feedback, I'll continue it.

Kudos to **- - **for the base premise of this fic. Lots of thanks!

I hope this flows well, I'm pretty rusty at story-style writing.

Positive feedback and criticisms are greatly appreciated.

Much love,

~FO


	2. Chapter 2

**To Be Brutally Frank With You:**

**Chapter Two: In which the Rikkai Regulars bruise Sanada's ego, beat up on Jackal and take forever to start playing a game. Oh, and Yukimura terrorizes everyone.**

-0-0-0-

After leaving Jackal severely traumatized and unconscious, Yukimura turned around and beamed at all of his teammates.

Although they didn't say anything, they all felt a little dizzy by the sheer brilliance of Yukimura's smile.

Oh, wait, they drank an overly potent truth serum didn't they? So, instead…

"Buchou's smile is so… sparkly…" muttered Akaya, dazed.

"Yeah…" agreed the rest of his teammates, equally bedazzled.

Yukimura smirked internally, before declaring to all of them, "Let's get this started. Standing around like this will do none of us any good, which means we won't win Nationals."

Marui was confused, "Nationals is over… We're going to high school next year."

"There's still Nationals in high school. And we're going to win this one. Got that?" said Yukimura in a cheery manner, but they knew better, if they didn't win this time, Yukimura was going to commit mass homicide. Starting with Seigaku, especially that first-year brat. Despite the fact that Echizen was still going to be in junior high. Ignore that fact, because Yukimura is still bitter. Of course, the Regulars were terrified because, being in Yukimura's close range, they might (would definitely) be part of the collateral damage.

So, of course, they nodded.

Yukimura smiled, "So, get a move on it!"

They looked at each other, confused. Sanada stepped up to the plate and asked, "Uh… What are we supposed to be doing?"

Yukimura shook his head, looking disappointed, and although Sanada did nothing to deserve it, Sanada felt ashamed, and said, "I am sorry."

Niou and Yagyuu muttered "Whipped" behind him.

Yanagi snickered, internally.

Marui and Akaya were not as covert; rather, they burst into hysterical laughter.

Yukimura smiled some more, before clearing his throat slightly.

Their attention snapped back to him.

Yukimura paused, for the dramatic effect, before saying, "We're going to play Truth or Dare, of course!"

Akaya yelped, "No! Not again! Not after the last round!"

Yukimura looked sad. But we all know it was an act.

However, Sanada didn't, or maybe he did, but couldn't help himself anyway. So, Sanada yelled at Akaya, "You will listen to Yukimura! Who should be known as the wonderful, the great and the beautiful!"

Sanada froze, his brain processing what he just said.

Yanagi coughed slightly, and said, "Sanada's admission of his adoration of Yukimura aside, let us all play."

Akaya pouted, but he didn't want Yukimura to look sad again. Because he knew that if it progressed, he'd get bitch slapped by Sanada, and if he continued some more, Yukimura himself would punish him. "Yukimura's scary. And Sanada is his bitch," muttered Akaya under his breath. Of course, everyone heard him anyway.

Marui looked confused by Akaya's train of thought, but couldn't help but agree with him.

Sanada was sad, "There went my reputation."

Yagyuu replied, straight off, "What reputation? Everyone knows you're Yukimura's slave."

Sanada felt even sadder. Here were his teammates, who could not lie, and they were killing his ego.

Yukimura was getting irritated by the constant interruptions, and said quietly, "Can we get started? If I'm interrupted one more time…" He trailed off.

Jackal recovered at that particular moment, and looked around, "What's going on?"

Yukimura swiftly chopped him in the neck, causing the bald boy to slump over again.

Niou looked at Yukimura oddly, "What was that for? I thought we were going to find out stuff about _everyone_? Which includes Jackal."

"He interrupted me."

Marui shuddered slightly, "Buchou, you're doing the demon aura thing again."

True to Marui's word (of course), there was an aura of hellfire and brimstone and promises of eternal damnation emanating off Yukimura.

Niou sighed, melodramatic and said to Sanada, "Go on, bitch boy, go calm down your master."

Sanada was seriously getting depressed, but in a last-ditch effort to regain his pride, he slapped Niou, yelling, "Language Niou! Watch what you say to the Supreme Yukimura!"

Or at least, he tried. Niou ducked, cackling. "Knew you were going to do that. God, Sanada, mix up your repertoire a bit. And confess your love to Yukimura already."

Sanada was extremely depressed now.

Yanagi cut in, "I calculated that there was a 97 percent chance of Sanada's ego getting trampled on… It seems I should have upped the percentage to 99.5 percent…

Yukimura sighed, "Now that Sanada has been sufficiently demoralized, can we _get the game started_ already?"

The doom aura had intensified.

Sanada felt like crying, "Yukimura! How could you do this to me?"

Yukimura shrugged, "Easily."

Yanagi muttered, "Make that 100 percent…"

Yagyuu was getting mildly irritated, "Why is everyone getting all the attention? I never seem to get any attention at all."

Niou smiled mischieviously, "Aww… Yagyuu, I didn't know you felt this way. I could give you all the attention you want… and then some."

Yagyuu looked weirded out, "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"Probably."

"Oh. Sure, whatever, come to my house later."

Yanagi was jotting all of this new information down intently. "If I knew the experiment would be this productive, I would have done this ages ago…"

They all looked at Yanagi weirdly, but Yanagi was in his own little data zone and didn't realize.

Marui coughed, but it sounded oddly like, "-cough- Yanagi's a nerd. –cough-" In fact, the cough did nothing to hide his words at all.

Akaya noticed this and asked, "Why did you cough? It did nothing at all."

"For effect. Sheesh, Akaya! You seriously need a course in my genius skills!"

Yagyuu looked at Marui mildly, "Don't you mean idiocy?"

"Yes. Wait- No!"

Yagyuu smiled at Niou, "I rest my case."

Niou high-fived him.

Marui fumed silently at the background, determined to get back at the Not-So-Gentlemanly-Gentleman.

Wow, it's taking a really long time for them to start a game of Truth or Dare, isn't it?

Yukimura read the above sentence, and agreed, so he said, "All of you, sit down, shut up, and let's get this game started already. Before I butcher all of you in your sleep! And if it isn't done within five seconds, I'm going to start butchering now."

Needless to say, they all sat, terrified, and got ready for the new torture regime to start.

"Someone wake Jackal." Commanded Yukimura.

Marui obeyed by throwing a bucket of ice-cold water on his doubles partner, who still did not wake.

Niou offered his 'help' by tossing Jackal at a tree; he still did not wake (no surprise there).

Yagyuu followed up by shocking the poor abused bald boy with a taser; Jackal still did not wake.

Akaya gladly joined in the fun by poking Jackal incessantly. When that did not work, he went Devil Mode and beat up Jackal some more. Jackal, who now looked very beaten and battered, still did not wake.

Sanada sighed, and started to slap Jackal. Surprisingly enough, this did make Jackal wake! Hallelujah!

When Jackal was fully coherent, he muttered, "What did I do to deserve this?"

Marui was quick to answer, "You're bald, that's what."

"What does my baldness have to do with anything?"

"I don't know, I just get the vibe that your baldness makes you a punching bag."

"…" Jackal was speechless.

And finally, the game of Truth or Dare started with…

-0-0-0-

And I leave you off there, because I'm that much of a bastard. =P Or rather, have no idea what to write.

So, if you have any ideas and suggestions, please include them in your review (blatant hint there).

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

I totally love bullying Sanada and Jackal. Muahahahaha!

Fear the crack.

And thank you to Bunnychan360 and Ecstatic Petenshi for telling me about Niou's apparent love of cats. I've fixed it in the first chapter already.

Also, additional thanks to Bunnychan for her lovely ideas.

Much Love,

~FO


End file.
